The Epidemic of Fat

I won't beat around the bush here. I absolutely despise fat people. I'm not talking the bit of baby fat or a small beer gut or just haven't got out to exercise in a bit folks. I'm talking the ginormous hippos that waddle themselves throughout our society. Frankly, as an American, it pisses me off. And I'm not going to use any PC crap. No "overweight" or "obese". They are FAT.

I met a 101 year old man today who was walking and just waiting for his son to come push him around in a wheelchair. That is outstanding. He more than deserves to have a wheelchair and frankly, not have to walk anywhere the rest of his life, however long that may be.

In ugly contrast, while at the grocery store, this grossly overweight woman was driving around in the motorized cart, throwing lard chips and fat biscuits in her little basket and taking up the whole aisle. To be honest, I don't know if she was putting lard chips in her cart, mostly because I couldn't see past her humongous body.

I don't believe that fat people should be allowed to use the motorized carts at all. Or use handicapped spots, or have any benefits/special treatment whatsoever. The purpose of the motorized carts is so old feeble people and those with a handicap can get around. Fat people don't have a handicap. They have an unhealthy lifestyle which most likely includes being lazy and not eating correctly. That is not a handicap. That is your own fault and doesn't warrant any special treatment. They should make you park in the back of the parking lot so you have to walk further and give you a smaller cart so you can't fill it with so many donuts and cupcakes. If you don't think you can make it all the way around the store, you best make a decision on what food is most important and start there. Here's a hint: It's not the cupcakes.

So why did I say "as an American"? I'm sick of the downward spiral we are in. We used to be at the forefront of technology and quality. We were hard workers who built dams and roads and skyscrapers. Now everything is imported. Foreign companies do our building. Americans are lazy and happy to take a handout without any shame. Could you imagine how the forefathers would react to the "too big to fail" bull that was fed to the public? Capitalism is about the freedom to prosper by creating the better service, the better product, the next best thing. Not today. It's about cutting corners and playing politics. No wonder we are in an "economic slump". We can't do anything for ourselves. God bless the farmers and factory workers and anyone who still works hard to keep America great.

Wait....so how does that last paragraph translate to hating fat people? It's the fact that they can choose to be different. To exercise, to eat right. You don't have to have money. Get up in the morning and walk or do cardio or do anything. It's free. It's a choice. Throw out your deep fryer. Eat less calories. IT'S A CHOICE. I don't care about "genetics," or any other cop out reason. Fix yourself. Fix America! Build better products. Invest in science and technology development. Let crappy businesses fail, no matter how big! And for the love of God, get off your fat ass and do something about it.

As a parting word...
It makes me sad and angry to see fat people with fat children. Don't screw them in life because you can't be a good parent and keep them healthy. You are perpetuating the problem.

Am I venting? Absolutely. America has a lot of problems, and this is one that we can fix as individuals. Taking personal responsibility is the first step.

Days 2 and 3

Day 2

After being dead tired from day one, nothing on day two could possibly break my spirit. I wake up at 0445. We do physical training (PT) for one hour. In the innate style that is the 101st Airborne Division, we do 101 (or more) of each exercise. We form up for the first formation of the day and they spread us out and then run us through stretches before we begin to exercise. There are instructors in front of us and some behind us. This doesn't bode well.

The first black hat has us do 101 overhead arm claps (pretty much their favorite). He then has us do an "about face," or "turn around" for you civilians. Oh look! Another black hat ready to go. Next exercise: flutter kicks (a close second favorite, and the bane of my existence). I hate flutter kicks. Flutter kicks and ruck marching. And I would ruck march to Miami rather than do flutter kicks all day. We stop after the magic number and we get about 10 seconds to drink water. Then we turn around again. See a pattern here? Another black hat, another exercise. For an hour. Arms, shoulders, thighs...all rubber. Once we finish and are released, I have to find somewhere to shower.Plan A: Go home, shower/change/eat
-takes too long for travel....probably won't get food (I like food!)
Plan B: Go to work and use shower
-have to split time with lots of others using two showers....
Plan C: Go to the pool and use shower there
-close, many showers, not many people so early
Obviously, plan C was the way to go, and throughout the course, I used this option as much as possible.
Clean and happy, just sore I return for the second day of classes.

We go through beginning Pathfinder instruction, which is basically how to set up a landing zone for rotary aircraft, and the math involved depending on the aircraft and/or sling load. I won't bore you with the details, but it's actually pretty cool. There is an entire school for training Pathfinders, and from what I've heard, it's math heavy and very hard.

About lunch time, the black hats inform us that the orientation Blackhawk (UH-60L) flight has been cancelled due to weather, so we will be released early today. Awesome!

Before we leave, they go over hand and arm signals necessary to bring in a helicopter and tell it to land, take off, drop sling load, etc. Oh, by the way, there is a hands-on test tomorrow over 10 of the 16 hand and arm signals. That we have to pass or fail out of the course. We were shown once. One time. Uno.

Some of us get together with a Captain that graduated in the last class to help us study. We actually stood in a circle around him, closed our eyes, and had him call out the hand and arm signals for us to perform, which is how the test will be conducted as well. He would critique us and throw curve balls at us ("take off to the 6 o'clock", which is not a real signal...a helicopter never takes off backwards). It helped immensely.

After I left, I changed and then went to O'Charley's for dinner. I needed a good steak to replenish some energy, and I took the time to study. I must have looked like a crazy person repeating how much a UH-60L can lift (9,000lbs) or what the OH-58 is primarily used for (observation and close air support). Even practicing hand and arm signals, not full on in the aisle, but still in the booth. Either way, the steak was great. Test first thing tomorrow.

Day 3

0400 wake up.

We start the test about 0600 or so. It's multiple choice, and with all the studying I did, surprisingly easy. It actually worried me how quickly I seemed to finish. After you finish, you can go fill your canteen and go to the bathroom and then come back and put your head down on the table. Don't fall asleep! Put your head down, close your eyes, but don't fall asleep. Not easy.

Next we move out in groups of about 6 students to one instructor for the hands on hand and arm signals test. The black had goes through ten of them, and sure enough, "takeoff to the 6 o'clock" comes up. You have to just stand there and not move at all. I max the test! Positive five points for me.

By now, it's about 1000 or so, and we're starving. There's supposed to be MREs there for us for lunch, but somehow there was a mix-up and there are none. Grumbling begins. Note here that 98% of the class is college junior ROTC cadets.

It's hot now. About 94 and high humidity, of course. We move up to where the black hats have sling loads set out for training and so we can closely examine them to see what "right" looks like. Our next two tests are the paper sling load test and the dreaded hands on sling load test. The paper is the standard multiple choice test, but the hands on is madness. You have a pre-staged load; a HMMWV, fuel blivets, A22 cargo bag, or the cargo net. On each load, you have two minutes to find four deficiencies. Imagine your car strapped up, taped up, and tied up; both interior and exterior, and you have to ensure that every single aspect is correct. In two minutes. More on that later.

During this move to the sling load area, we didn't drop our gear and get set in formation quick enough. By we, I mean the cadets. I try really hard not to think less of them, as I was one of them not all that long ago, but by day freaking three they are starting to wear on me. There is a sense of entitlement and no sense of urgency. Back to formation. Even as the black hats start to count down from ten, students still aren't ready. It's not hard. Drop your stuff, make it dress right dress (in a row, all the same) and stand at attention. Even when the black hat hits zero, people (cadets) are still moving. Here's a hint. Regardless of what your gear looks like, when the instructor hits "zero", STOP MOVING. Be at attention and don't move. Don't blink. Hold your breath. Why would you draw attention to yourself? Chances are, they won't even see your gear unless you're in the first row. Of course, the black hat in charge is not happy. Pissed is probably more accurate. Flaming rage of Hades himself after you hooked up with his daughter in his prize chariot. He tells us to run around the 400 yard track (in a nice calm voice), and that you don't want to come back last.

Now, we have to carry the stupid one quart canteen in the leg pocket of our pants, so as we take off, it just serves to slam continuously against your thigh. So as our stampede heads around the track, I don't try to be first, just not last. Did I mention it's flippin' hot and humid and we're running in boots and full uniform? This sucks. Not to mention I had just drank half a canteen and now it is sloshing uncomfortably in my stomach. We get back to our gear and attempt to fall in. I say attempt because, unfathomably, people still can't seem to just get in place and stop moving. I can't explain how easy this is or how much I wanted to strangle some people. Not to worry, the countdown begins again. 10...9...8...

*Sigh* Did we not learn our lesson? We don't make it. The instructor kindly asks us to do another lap. And make sure we are yelling "Air Assault" every time our left foot hits the ground. That is not easy when you're struggling for breath, and every breath is loaded with humidity. Again, don't be last, and again, the canteen slams dents into my leg. If anyone saw my leg later, they probably would think I owe someone money and they took a bat to my knee. Oh, the blisters people had from the ruck march are screaming now, if not already burst.

Slung fuel blivets

Slung HMMWV

Thankfully, we don't have to run a third time, which I firmly believe is because our training was on a timeline, not because anyone did any better at getting in formation.

A22 Cargo Bag

Cargo Net

Luckily, not much else happens except some hands on training for each sling load we will be tested on. When we get back, I have the cadets huddle up and do my best give a quick counseling. Basically, it covered two things. One, use some common sense. Understand the intent and reach that every time, for example, formations. Two, don't complain. So there wasn't one MRE this morning. Why would you go running to an instructor and complain? In battle and in life, you don't always get what you want. You function with what you have. Plus, the leadership of the class (me being one of them) had already asked! When you complain in a school like that, it only serves to make life more difficult. The instructor isn't going to go, "oh, I'm sorry, let me get that for you", he's going to go "oh, I'm sorry, let me show you what REALLY sucks" and then proceed to smoke everyone and STILL not give you food. I don't know if they listened or not.

Either way, the day's over.

Day 1 (For Real!)

Well, it's been a few days....well, weeks, since I've posted last. So for all one of you that have been waiting patiently to hear all about the rest of my Air Assault School, here you go....finally.




DAY 1


I have to be up at 0200 (2am for you civilian types). Even after the Day zero craziness and being dead tired...it was hard to fall asleep before 2000 (8pm). If you're a math whiz, that means no more than six hours of sleep.

Now, I love my wife, and love to hear from her. HOWEVER, when my phone vibrates nearly off my side table, waking me up in sheer panic, it kind of, well, sucks. And that's on a normal day. Today, it is compounded by the fact that the when the text message hits my phone, it's 0130. Once my heart rate slows down to subsonic, I, well, want to throw the phone against the wall. No offense to Allison. That extra half hour would have been welcomed.

Regardless, I'm up now. I eat some oatmeal, powder down my feet, and head out to post. There's no one on the roads at 0300 except cops and drunk drivers, so I try to avoid both. I have the radio on, and the jockey comes on with this report, which I will paraphrase:
"It's going to be blazing today folks, 98 degrees and high humidity....dangerous heat. A good day to stay inside!"
My truck thermometer reads 85 degrees. At 3am. Soak that in for a minute. 3am. Great.

The Army has categories for heat which dictate the amount of hard work vs rest that Soldiers are supposed to do for safety reasons. Black, or heat category 5 (HeatCat5), is as bad as it gets. It's already heatcat5 when we form up for the pending ruck march. They tell us to roll up our sleeves and pant legs to help let the heat escape. We still have on our kevlar helmets, so all the heat gets trapped around our head. I'm looking forward to this less and less. Who am I kidding? I never looked forward to this. I HATE ruck marches. I can walk fine. I mostly just get bored. I half joined the Transportation Corps so I wouldn't HAVE to carry my gear. I can throw it on a truck and drive it there. I'm not even kidding. It seriously was a reason.

It's "only" six miles. We have an hour and a half. It is not a walk. You have to run at least part of it. By run, I mean some kind of straight leg shuffle so the ruck doesn't bounce up and down on your back. I'm already sweating. Profusely. We haven't even moved to the starting line. I stopped by a truck and marked my territory on its tire. Time to move out.

< This is what I looked like.




This is what I felt like. >



We take off when they say go.
Now....we have been told all day yesterday that the course was flat and easy going. They lied. It wasn't ridiculously steep hills, but rather a combination of mind ******* that serves to drive your morale into the ground.

Issue One: Slow, Rolling Hills This means hills that have a long upslope, but at such a shallow angle that the downslope doesn't have any foreseeable mental or physical benefit.

This SUCKS

Issue Two: Gravel Those pesky little broken rocks roll ankles, reduce traction, get stuck in treads, and basically frustrate anyone who has to walk on them for long distances

Issue Three: Curving route to turn around/finish Easily the worst of the three. It's dark, so the flood lights at the turn around point can be seen from miles away. It never gets closer. Remember how the lines at the amusement park wind back and forth, back and forth, and you slowly step forward like cattle in a chute? Yeah...just when you think that over this hill is the end....the road takes a right turn and you've got another mile to go. Oh, and when you get there....turn around and go back to the start. You're only halfway done.

So close, but soooooo far away...

By the way, we are carrying an 8lb dummy rifle (rubber, for training, also called a "rubber duck") and our 1 quart canteen. At the turn around point and at the turn around, you have to turn it upside down over your head to make sure you are drinking all your water (so you don't die of dehydration...how nice).

I've made it to the turn around point. I'm hot. Extremely hot. I'm sweating like you wouldn't believe. I take a quick knee to fill my canteen and contemplate not getting up. It's only been three miles! Really? I feel like I've been running a marathon in a volcano with a truck on my back.

I've been running intervals and down most hills. There are chemlites set out in an alternating pattern, red/green along the road to keep you on the path in the pitch dark. I run from one red to the next, then walk to the next red. My mouth and lips are dry, even if I drink water. Not a good sign. Dehydration is right around the corner.

As I start the last three mile trek back to the finish, bad thoughts enter my head.
"If I just pass out now, it can all be over"
"If I break my leg, I can stop walking"
"Is a heat injury all that bad?"
"Maybe I should have been a math major"
"I wonder if I would look good in a tutu?"

Scary, I know.

You what is really scary? Hearing people yell "MEDIC!!" up and down the route and seeing people literally falling by the wayside. Don't worry, the instructors and medics are all over the course, because this apparently happens all the time and they are experienced. None of us stop, because if we do, one, we may not start again, and two, we may miss the time limit!

As I round the last corner, it is a slight upslope and turn towards the finish line. A big timer is at the end, so you can see where you're at, finally. We aren't allowed to have watches or cell phones or any type of device to pace ourselves. You just go as fast as you can and hope for the best. As I round the last turn, the black hats at the finish are yelling to hurry up and counting down. I'm running out of time. With a surge of what I can only imagine is pure will power, as my body had given up on me at least a mile back, I run (in reality, a sad shuffle, but not a walk) up the hill and to the finish. Probably about a hundred yards or so. Remember earlier when I said your canteen had to be empty? Yeah, at the finish to. So, out of breath from running, dead on my feet, and time counting down, I'm chugging warm water, about two cups or so, as I cross the finish line, holding the canteen over my head and yelling my roster number. "Three!!!" "Three!!!" "Did you get me down?! Roster Three!!" Remember we had 1.5 hours to finish. I came in at 1:59:40. That's right, twenty seconds to spare. Thirty-six people miss the time. You aren't dropped from the course, but you get an automatic -20 points.

I am in physical pain. My body is shutting down, and I know it. I will never be able to describe how bad I was feeling physically, and emotionally/mentally overjoyed at the same time. I've never felt so weak. The event isn't over yet. There is a detailed packing list layout of all the stuff in our rucksack. Negative points given here are hard to overcome, especially if you've missed the time on the ruck march.

Included is a full canteen. I've dropped my ruck to the ground and sat on the ground. I know I need water, desperately, but it is so far away. I'm not even sure I can stand back up. I slowly stand up after about twenty minutes and stumble to the water jugs. I fill my canteen and head back to my ruck. I don't dare drink any, because the canteen has to be full.

I'm not worried about the inspection, because I have packed and repacked and checked and rechecked everything before we started. As expected, I have no issues. My hat, called a "soft cap", is a little worn, and since NOTHING else was wrong, I get docked ten points for it being "faded". Ludicrous.

We move to the buses, and then to the classroom, which is ice cold with air conditioning. We are all soaked with sweat. I feel like I jumped in a lake and then ran into an Arctic winter. I'm shivering. All of us are freezing! We're dead tired, but we dig in to the Air Assault handbook, starting with basic rotary aircraft and lifting capabilities. Every time we go on break for 10 minutes, we sweat again. Then we go back into the cold classroom. I'm going to get pneumonia for sure.

We find out later that it reached 103 degrees outside, with a heat index of 115 degrees. But at least the day is over. One more classroom day and then our first big test. Right now, a shower. Food. Ibuprofen. and Sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.

After this being so bad over only six miles, am I going to be able to do this again? Twice?! There is the culminating event that is the same course, twice, to make it 12 miles. Oh boy.

Air Assault

I had the opportunity to take part in some specialized training for the Army called Air Assault. If you've ever heard of the 101st Screaming Eagles, they are the Air Assault kings.

Basically Air Assault is two things:

One: Sling Loading Operations. If you've seen any load hanging from the bottom of a helicopter, that is a sling load. Used when terrain, distance, or enemy is an obstacle that can be overcome with the tactical use of helicopters.













Two: Fast Rope or Rappelling from a helicopter. The purpose is to come in behind enemy lines low and fast in a helicopter and insert troops without landing. Hence, the fast rope or rappel.











Alright, now that you know the awesomeness that is Air Assault, let me get into the training itself. My training took place at Ft. Knox, Kentucky as a satellite course with instructors from Ft. Campbell, Kentucky. The majority of the class was ROTC cadets or new Lieutenants that have some time between training to attend school. That being said, I was one of maybe ten active duty Soldiers, including a couple of drill sergeants, a Reserve first sergeant, another captain, and a first lieutenant.

*Translation guide*

• Break Off - to reach a point physically where you want to quit, well, moving at all; muscle failure

• Double Time - run (walking is called Quick Time)

• Black Hat/Black Shirt - instructor (they wear black shirts/hats)

• Drop - do pushups

• Flutter kicks - lay on your back; with your legs straight, bring your feet about 6 inches off the ground; begin to alternating kick up and down like swimming; painful

• Mountain climber - pushup position; bring one knee towards your chest; alternate quickly between legs; painful

• Smoked - similar to "break off"; to smoke someone is to break them off; to be smoked, well, sucks

Day 0

If you noticed, the title has "Day 0" not "Day 1". The reason being is that day zero is technically the first day, but it is designed to weed out the unprepared or the weak. They basically break you off and yell at you and make you so physically and mentally tired that you are numb.

I had to be up at 2:15 am.

All of us get what's called a roster number, and that is how we are referred to during the course. As one of the few active duty, I got a low roster number (#3). So they don't call me "Michelena", but "Roster 3".

They called your name and your roster number, and you ran over to one of the black hats, get a piece of tape with your number on it to put on your canteen (yeah, old school canteen), and then you run over to another area for another formation. A couple of things we have to do during the entire course: Run everywhere (also called double-time), and every time your left food hits the ground, you have to say "Air Assault". And by say, I mean yell. Try running and yelling two words every left step. You quickly stop breathing in.

As you run from getting your tape, you round this dark corner and straight into the line of fire. There are several black hats spaced between you and your destination. No matter how fast you are running or yelling "Air Assault," it's a turkey shoot. They yell at you and tell you to get down and do pushups. Air Assault pushups are a little different. Stick your thumbs out and touch them together, like making a "U" shape. That is how your hands are during the pushup. You do ten and get up. Then you run as far as you can before the next black hat yells at you. I was lucky and fast. I only got dropped once. Probably because the guy two steps behind me forgot to say "Air Assault" and got dropped again. I kept running. Take one for the team buddy.
Once we got formed up, we loaded buses and headed to the obstacle course.

The first thing we did off the bus was 200 overhead arm claps. Take your arms and hold them straight out to your sides. Now, keeping your arms straight, bring them over your head until your hands touch above your head, thus the "clap". Bring your arms back to horizontal. That was one. Now do 199 more.

Next, we ran up this hill towards the course and proceeded to get smoked with various physical tortures such as flutter kicks, mountain climbers, and more overhead arm claps. Lots of flutter kicks and overhead arm claps. Lots. Hundreds and hundreds.

 Immediately following, we head to the obstacle course. There are two major obstacles that are physically demanding, and not easy without being smoked first. One is the Weaver, and the other is the Tough One.

Guess which one I got to go to first?  That's right, the Weaver.  Unless you have trouble climbing a rope, this is by far the most challenging.  You get no more than two tries on any obstacle.  So if you fall off, that's one try.  The picture shows those Soldiers going head first.  We had to go sideways up and back down the other side.  Not easy when your arms are shot from doing 500+ overhead arm claps.  Sometimes your arms just don't respond as well as your brain wants them too.  One guy in our group fell off, but luckily got it the second time.  We did pushups while we waited.  Our next obstacle? The Tough One.  You can't see it in the picture, but the first thing you do (and the hardest) is to climb up a rope, then walk across the beams, up the ladder, and then down the cargo net.  If you're tired, as we are at this point, the rope climb can kill you, especially if you don't use technique (i.e. wrapping the rope around your foot to use your legs to help climb).  I'm pretty sure our whole group made it, but a few from the other groups fell by the wayside.  The pictures above are some of the obstacles, but not all of them.  The low crawl got us all muddy, solely because we were so incredibly sweaty (it was 95 degrees and 90% humidity) and we're dragging our face through the dirt.

After the obstacle course, we took off our blouse (jacket) and boots and put on running shoes.  We then ran two miles.  In the heat.  After everything else we've done.  It was the slowest two miles I've ever run.  One or two didn't make it in the 16 minute limit.  I couldn't believe how tired I was.  It was more of a shuffle than a run.  Especially mud caked, sweaty, and dead tired.

Next, we luckily went into an air conditioned classroom where they showed us the packing list layout for the six mile ruck march the next day.  It was very specific and you had to try not to fall asleep.  I'll go into that more on Day 1.  People kept asking really dumb questions.  It drove me nuts.

I was assigned as a platoon leader and they did a quick equipment check.  We had been briefed the day before on exactly what we needed to have for day zero.  One cadet didn't have his belt on.  He got dropped from the course.  Crazy.

We pretty much got released for the day from there.  Since I'm stationed at Ft. Knox, I got to stay at home rather than in the barracks.  That means a shower to myself, a washer and dryer, t.v., a nice bed...

My battle buddy and I went to WalMart on the way home, dirty as all get out, but we needed some stuff for the ruck march the next day.  Funny looks from everyone.  One lady was like "Had a fun day?" Nice.

Day 1....here we come. Minus 14.

Tryin' Chorizo

Well, today was the day. I bought all the ingredients and gave it a shot.

First, thank you to Habanero Smoker for

the

recipe. Here it is for easy reference, and will be explained in detail later:

Basque Chorizo

Ingredients:

• 2 1/2 lbs. pork shoulder
• 1/2 lbs. beef plate or fatty chuck (you could also use skirt of flank steak)
• 1/2 Cup sweet Spanish or Hungarian paprika
• *1/4 Cup dried New Mexico (Anhiem) chile puree
• 1/4 Cup minced garlic
• 3 Tbsp dry red wine
• 4 tsp kosher salt
• 2 tsp sugar
• 2 tsp coarsely ground black pepperPinch of ground cloves

++1 tsp pink salt dissolved in ¼ cup water (optional)
prepared medium hog casings (if you are going to stuff).
Directions:Grind pork and beef through a 3/8” plate.

In large bowl combine ground meat with paprika, chile puree, garlic wine, salt, sugar, black pepper, and cloves. (I generally will mix the meat with the spices prior to grinding).

++Add curing salt if you are planning to smoke.Mix well, kneading the meat and spices until everything is thoroughly mixed. (I like to refrigerate the mixture overnight to allow the spices and pink salt distribute more evenly).
If stuffing your can form into rings, or 10 inch lengths, or 6 inch lengths.
*Chile Puree:In a

small bowl, soak two dried New Mexico chiles in enough

boiling water to cover them; for 10 minutes. Drain and reserve water. Remove stems and seeds and puree the chiles in a food processor, adding a teaspoon of the reserved soaking water.

My deepest apologies to all the Basque who read this and scoff at my attempt and compromises and shortcuts. I'm learning, and I don't have access to all the top-notch homeland ingredients.

So hopefully it tastes good! Funny thing...I've never even had chorizo to begin with, so I'm not sure I'll know if it's good or not... But anyway, it was fun to try something new.

To start:

Basically it goes like this - Find all ingredients, mix, cook, eat. Pretty simple.

My shopping trip yielded the following:

3lbs ground pork (I don't have a meat grinder that I know of...and it's easier)

1lb ground beef (same as the pork)

1 jar of regular Paprika (I don't know if it's different than sweet Spanish...)

1 bag of Anaheim chiles (thank god the name was on the bag)

1 jar minced garlic

1 bottle Lambrusco red wine (probably could have used cooking wine or maybe found at least a Spanish wine...Italian is close, right?)

1 box Kosher

salt (had to ask a lady about this...never heard of it before)

It may not be the most authentic version of chorizo, but at least the ingredients look professional once put in little bowls!

Step 1. Measure out ingredients

Start the water to get it boiling for the chile puree. While waiting, measure out the rest of the ingredients. I had to grind out the 2 tsp of pepper, so if you have pre-ground pepper, you will save yourself some time and a sore arm.

The 1/4 cup Paprika was the entire jar.

Alright, now that the water is boiling, put a couple of chiles in a bowl and pour the bowling water on them, enough to cover them. The goal is to reconstitute them to allow for puree. Since they tend to float, I put a couple of spoons on them to weigh them down.

After 10 minutes, they should be plenty pliable. Take

them out of the water, but don't throw the water out! Slice off the stems and slice them in halves or quarters lengthwise to get all the seeds out. Don't miss any, or one of your eaters will get a nasty spicy surprise!

Place the cleaned peppers in your food processor and puree away!

Once you have all of

your ingredients, move on to step 2.

Step 2: Mix it up!

Literally...take everything, put it in a bowl, and start kneading the meat until the spices are all even. That's it.

If you're really hardcore into it, and have access to sausage casings, I'd love to hear how it went from here. I put the mix in the fridge and will let it sit overnight. I'll cook some up with some noodles or make into patties for hamburgers. It's basically pre-flavored meat now... so the sky seems the limit! More to follow when I actually TASTE this creation of mine.

Update:
I mixed up the chorizo with some noodles. It is good! The paprika is definitely the most dominate flavor, so you may want to back off the amount a little bit to ease it up, or maybe just find the Spanish sweet paprika, which could make all the difference.

Happy cooking!

Diving into Heritage

I had a little time on my hands today, so I was searching into more about my Basque heritage. I'm pretty excited to be part of such a small and exclusive community. The Basque language itself is it's own entity, not some derivative of Spanish. I am looking forward to trying out some Basque recipes for dessert and some main dishes. I will post those at the conclusion of my attempts. In the meantime, I found a few good sites that you might like to check out as well.

Probably my favorite for beginners (like me!) so far, a site from Boise, Idaho, arguably the Basque capital of the United States. A lot of good information, especially with pronunciations, which will certainly help me at least recognize some things, such as what drink or food I have in my hands. The festival they

mention is discussed here. The schedule looks like a lot of fun!

Jaialdi 2010 Schedule of Events

The official schedule of events for Jaialdi is:

• 5-11 p.m. July 27 and July 28: “Welcome t

o Jaialdi” events on the Basque Block. Featuring food, drink and strolling musicians. No admission fee.

• 7-9 p.m. July 28. Basque Culture Conference. Egyptian Theatre. Free. “Eusk

al Herria Mugaz Gaindi” will be attended by prominent world experts in Basque immigration. Hosted by the Basque Studies Center at Boise State Univers

ity.

• 7 p.m. July 29: Sports Night, Qwest Arena.

$12. Tickets through qwestarenaidaho.com. Three weight lifters from Euskal Herria will be lifting cylinders weighi

ng 250-400 pounds and balls weighing

250 pounds. Three wood choppers from the region will compete against each other, and 20 farm sports

competitors will participate in feats of strength such as throwing bales of hay, lifting wagons and carrying milk cans.

• Noon-6 p.m. July 30: “Basqueing on the Block,” Basque Block. Featuring food, drink, strolling musicians and a cha

nce to visit with old friends and new acquaintances. No admission fee.

• 7 p.m. July 30: “Festa’ra,”

Morrison Center on the Boise State University campus. Tickets through idahotickets.com. This performance will feature two dance groups from the Basque Count

ry, the Oinkari Basque Dancers, bertzolariak and an interpretive performance by the Trey McIntyre project.

• 10 a.m.-6 p.m. July 31: “Basqueing at the Fairgrounds,” Expo Idaho. Tickets at the door. Saturday’s events will feature more than 36 dance groups from six

Western states on two indoor stages. Vendors with unique novelties, souvenirs and clothing will set up shop in the air-conditioned portion of the Expo building. Food and

drink will be available, along with sports events near the outdoor fountain. Sheep wagons will be on display.

• 7 p.m. July 31: Mass, St. John’s Cathedral. No admission charge. A traditional San Inazio Mas

s will be celebrated in Basque and will feature the Oñati Dancers,

who will perform on the St. John’s altar with the Oinkari Dancers.

• 9 p.m.-1:30 a.m. July 31: Street Dance, Expo Idaho Fairgrounds. Tickets at the door. Featuring

music by Amuma Says No and other groups from both the Basque Country and Boise.

• 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Aug. 1:

“Basqueing at the Fairgrounds,” Expo Idaho. Tickets at the door. Featuring more dancing, weight lifting, vendors and food booths

This little blurb has some interesting recipes, specifically mentioning Txakoli wine (first time I've seen that...would love to try it!) and Basque cake.

A wealth of current events information is at the freebasque.com website, as well as free downloads of Basque fonts!

And finally, arguably the best overall informative Basque site. Lists of restaurants, recipes, folklore...amazing! I plan to search a lot of that site and I'll get back to you. The recipes will be the most interesting challenge.

Opening Salvo

Every four years or so, the Basque Festival returns to Wyoming. My dad's family is from Wyoming, and so for the first time about three years ago, I went with my parents to celebrate what is half of my heritage. It was awesome. My brother couldn't be there because he was deployed with the Marines, but before he left, we both had our family crest (Basque, of course) tattoo'd on our right shoulder. It had nothing to do with the festival, and everything to do with our bond as family, but it was still awesome to have with all the family there. We ate, we drank, we danced, we watched sheep dog demonstrations and we slept in a sheep wagon. I'll try to post some pictures when I get a chance. Next summer is the next festival, and I'm excited my brother and wife get to go. What is Basque?

HOWEVER....this blog is not all about Basque. It is more about my random happenings and reviews and thoughts put on digits for your visual digestion. Please feel free to comment or give your Basque shout out! Also, check out my wife's blog or her etsy shop. Both are awesome!